Realization
by spazzychipmunk
Summary: Pam realizes how she feels about Jim.


Realization

Pam walked back into the office after her coffee with Roy and her head was swirling, to say the least. He had come into the office to beat up Jim and got sprayed with pepper spray by Dwight. Then, at the coffee shop, he had insinuated that she had called off the wedding for Jim. Pam had never really taken the time to think about what her reasons were. She had told herself that it was problems with Roy, but what were her reasons, really? As she checked messages, she looked at Jim's desk out of habit. Had she really called off her wedding for him?

Fifteen minutes passed, but it felt like hours. She had gone through the motions, answering phones, transferring, taking messages, playing Solitaire, and all her other usual tasks, but her mind was still racing. Of all the people to realize her true reason for canceling the wedding, she had least expected Roy to point it out. He had not been observant throughout their entire relationship, so it had come as a shock that he would be able to see right through her façade. He was right. She had called off her wedding for Jim, and she had to tell him.

Pam fought the urge to just run and tell him right at this moment, but he was in the break room talking to Karen. Ever since the merger had gone down, she had tried to like Karen for Jim's sake, but really she just didn't care for her. She had to get him alone so she could talk to him.

Patience had never been one of Pam's virtues. She decided to just walk into the break room and ask to speak to Jim alone. He had to know, and he had to know now. As she pushed open the door, she felt a wave of butterflies flying around in her stomach. Old Pam would have run as far away when that feeling hit, but this is Fancy New Beesley, and she was going for what she wanted. And she wanted Jim. "Hey Jim, can I talk to you?" They both just stared at her. "Alone?"

"Sure Pam," Jim replied. "Karen, would you excuse us?"

"Um, sure ok, I'll be out at my desk," she said.

As Karen walked out of the room, Pam could have sworn she saw a brief look of jealousy pass across her face. She turned to look at Jim. He had been her best friend for 3 years, and yet she still found this moment to be both surreal and scary. "Jim….I…."

Standing there in the break room staring at Jim was an experience Pam couldn't quite describe. She had stared at him before, but it was nothing like this. There was something in his eyes that told Pam that they would be ok, which gave her all the courage she needed. "There's something I need to tell you. Remember Casino Night?"

"Yeah," Jim replied, looking confused.

"Well, after what happened, I went home and I thought about it, and I decided I couldn't be with Roy," she confessed, feeling incredibly relieved. "I broke it off with him a few days later, and cancelled the wedding."

For a few minutes, they both stood in silence, staring at the floor and contemplating. "Why?" Jim asked, looking at her.

"Well, um…." Pam tried to answer. She knew the answer, but she found it so hard to just say it. This was it; it was now or never. He had to know. "I'm in love with you."

Jim just stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. Pam decided to break the silence. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have….you're with Karen….and…."

"Pam…."

She stopped rambling and looked at him, expecting to find disappointment. Instead she found him looking at her with what can only be described as a look of love. "I love you too. Always have."

Relief washed over Pam and she smiled. Before she really had time to collect her thoughts or say anything in response, he pulled her into a kiss. It was like the Casino Night kiss, but sweeter because all of Pam's hesitancy was gone. This time it was Jim that pulled away. "Wow."

Pam giggled, but then the gravity of the situation hit her. "What about Karen?" She didn't want to bring her up, but she also didn't want Karen to get hurt.

Jim sighed, "I'll take care of it. We'll figure it out Pam. Don't worry."

For once in her life, Pam Beesly wasn't worried, only excited about what the future held.


End file.
